Asif

Image by cherry19921025 from Pixabay

35 years ago I taught English in China.

If you remember the Tienanmen Square Massacre of ‘89, you remember the time I was there. China was pretty backwards at the time and we lived in an especially backwards town. I was teaching at the University of Petroleum on the east coast of China where the Yellow River dumps into the sea. It is a bleak landscape. No trees, just oil rigs. The school trained university kids to work in the energy sector, from engineers to tanker drivers. I lived in a Stalinist era housing block with several other “foreign friends”. Occasionally visiting engineers from the Soviet Union were housed along side of the teachers. And these people were always colorful characters.

On this particular occasion, two gentlemen from the Soviet Union (the wall had not come down yet) had taken up residence with us. Gary was a stereotypical Russian. He wore a somber expression most of the time complete with the serious forehead. He was fairly complected, enjoyed “wodka”, and  he would bring his fist to his heart when he had something meaningful to say. He often closed his eyes completely when he spoke. He was an atheist, and his name was really Igor. He just liked the name Gary. He spoke English well. He had learned to speak English from listening to bootleg Beatles albums in his Moscow apartment. He was some sort of an engineer. We spent a fair amount of time together and he cracked me up. He said to me one time, with his eyes closed and his fist to his chest, “Ken, tell me please, if you wish to seduce a woman in your country, what would you say?” As a 22 year old Nazarene kid, I was speechless, apparently unfamiliar with the language of seduction!

The other gentleman was from one of nations occupied by the Soviets that was hard to find on a map from that era. His name was Asif. Asif was everything Gary was not. He laughed easily, played chess like a grand-master, and had never encountered spoken English from native speakers… until he came to China! His first language was Azerbaijani, next a Persian tongue I can’t remember the name of, and Russian to round out the first 3. He was a faithful Muslim and he had one of those partially golden teeth that sparkled when he smiled. He had crows feet that were always engaged because he always seemed happy. What was always perplexing to me was how he seemed to understand what was happening anyway. Because he was living in China with a bunch of native English speakers, he was encountering and learning English and Chinese simultaneously.

Did I mention these were full grown men with families back at home? I was just a punk in my early 20’s looking for fun. We got along great. We all bought these cheap Chinese bikes that broke down every 5 minutes and we would ride them outside the campus walls to a little farmers market to supplement our meager diet. We would buy sweet potatoes, bananas, various meat products (which I avoided), eggs, apples, pretty basic stuff. Seems like you could get an outdoor haircut too.

This is where it gets good.

One day on our little outing, Gary, Asif, and me at the market, Asif was attempting to buy bananas. He stepped up and said to the young man.

“How much?”

A blank stare from the Chinese peasant followed.

So, like any normal person, he said it louder. “How much?” Practically shouting.

It wasn’t until Gary, with his eyes closed and wearing his most patient face, says to me.

“Ken, look at him. (pregnant pause) He is speaking English to the Chinese.”

And indeed, look at him! We both cracked up. Gary said something to Asif in Russian, and Asif switched to his incomprehensible Chinese. The young peasant eventually understood and Asif got his bananas. Imagine learning Chinese and English at the same time with 3 other languages rolling around in your head!

Here is the point:

Sometimes when we are attempting to make changes in our health and well-being, we try to do it all at once. We have too much in our head. We try to change our diet, and we try to change our exercise habits, and we try to breath properly, and we try to take supplements, and we try to get sleep, and we try to think good thoughts, and we try to avoid toxins, and we try to mitigate stress, and we try to drink half our body weight in water, and we try and we try and we try.

Until we speak English to the Chinese, and we can’t even remember what we are hoping to accomplish. It is easy to get bogged down with too much trying!

Too much “trying” usually ends in failure and frustration. Focus on one or two areas of your life at a time. That’s it. One or two. Anything will do. If you need a place to start, start with protein. Are you getting enough protein? Make protein the focal point of your meals asking yourself, where is the protein in this meal? Don’t even worry about how much, just get good at recognizing it in your meals. Focus on looking for it! And then add a bit more of it. Easy-peasy.

Water is easy too. As much as I hate to carry a water bottle, it does cause me to drink more because I am aware of it, I can see it.

Recap, step one, focus on protein, and step two, carry a water bottle. (with water in it and also drink it.)

Don’t get bogged down trying to do too much or make too many changes.

If you are more advanced than this and need a next step, please ask me.

Focus folks Focus. Asif would agree.

Cheers,

ks