Image by Robin Higgins from Pixabay
Does entitlement drive you crazy? Do you find yourself wanting to let someone have it when they want more than they are willing to work for? More than they deserve? Do you find yourself categorizing folks as lazy?
Me too!
Read on. And try not to laugh about all the hypocrisy.
My daughter and I were in a ski shop in McCall a few weeks ago. We were renting a type of cross-country skis known as skate skis. Skate skiing is great exercise, and it is also a challenging movement pattern. It takes a little practice to make it work.
We got all masked up and went into the shop. The shop did not appear to be overly busy. There were plenty of employees, some helping customers and some not. We waited. And my glasses were getting foggy, (thank you mask) because I’m overdressed for the indoors. I was getting impatient. Standing with my arms folded, hopefully communicating my displeasure at how much time was being wasted, I realized that my expectations were not being met. Don’t these people know how important I am? (If you are not laughing now, at least smile!)
I have the expectation that everyone values my time as much as I do. Did I mention we had a very short time-frame that day? And I expected we would rent some gear and quickly be on the trails. Wrong! Surprise, surprise the world does not revolve around me.
A young lady finally came out of the part of the store where skis are waxed. She began fumbling around and trying to help. At this point I left and stood outside because I figured we were underway. Not so fast. Another 10 minutes pass. Finally, Abbey came out. We loaded up and went out to ski. This whole episode took longer than 30 minutes. You can buy a car on the internet faster.
We got to the trails, we geared up, we started to ski and the next thing I know, Abbey was in tears. What the heck happened? Yesterday she was moving along smoothly using classic cross-country skis in a skate skiing motion, (as I said earlier, a different and difficult movement pattern) and this was her first shot at skiing with the proper equipment… and now tears!
What happened?
Why would she expect that she could master the complexity of a new movement pattern without a ton of effort?
After a few tries, she quit. I gave her an earful about quitting and expectations. Can you say hypocrisy?
I have come to believe that expectations are just a thinly veiled attempt to hide my entitlement. I want the universe to rotate around me. I want to control things completely out of my control. I don’t want to do the hard work. I deserve better! The truth is, I am just self-centered.
The one thing we could control, getting to the ski shop at 8am, we did not do. That would have changed the whole program.
Here is how it played out. We returned the skis. The man at the ski shop asked how it went. Abbey told him not so well. He took one look at the rented gear and said that these were the wrong type of skis and in addition the wax had not been removed. He apologized and refunded our money.
Abbey was vindicated. And here I am, having accused her of great expectations.
This is a huge growth opportunity for me. I am assuming for you too. Let us all get in the habit of lowering our expectations around issues and circumstances we cannot control. We will be healthier for it. We will be happier for it too. A little bit of grace would go a long way.
Expectations really are just entitlement.
And I hate entitlement.
Particularly in me.
Sorry Abbey for the earful.
Cheers,
ks
Feb 05, 2021 at 5:25 PM
Sorry Doc, but I'm laughing hysterically as I read your story. You write as eloquently as you speak. With every written word I HEAR you telling me the story as you work that activator adjusting my misaligned vertebrae giving me a new attitude and less entitlement. You rock!
Feb 05, 2021 at 4:50 PM
Wow Carla, this may be the greatest compliment I have ever received. Thank you! Cheers, ks
Feb 05, 2021 at 7:24 PM
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Feb 09, 2021 at 10:49 AM
Thanks for chiming in Ed but for some reason your response only came through as unreadable symbols. I am so sorry about that. Want to try again?
Feb 05, 2021 at 7:56 PM
Guilty !!!!!!
Feb 05, 2021 at 4:50 PM
Glad I am not alone! Cheers, ks
Feb 05, 2021 at 9:05 PM
Truth... For all of us. Thanks Ken!
Feb 05, 2021 at 4:50 PM
Thanks for reading and chiming in! Cheers, ks
Feb 12, 2021 at 8:47 PM
Just WOW! The lesson, the sharing, and your voice throughout. Great post, Doc.
Feb 13, 2021 at 5:26 PM
Well thank you so much Jeanette. Love having your comments here and glad you liked the content. Cheers!